Wellbeing: Antonya Catahlinah Beamish on how to navigate life’s bumps

If life has felt a little rocky recently, Cambridge-based holistic therapist Antonya Catahlinah Beamish knows the feeling, and suggests how to navigate these tough times

I love writing about my experiences in the hope that they serve as a gentle guide for someone else, and what I’ve recently come to realise is that I, along with many other people I know, have had a bit of a bumpy time of it recently.

It’s so easy to look around and think that we’re somehow failing at life just because life is a little rocky, a little less glamorous and a tad chaotic.

The truth is, life is never smooth sailing, for any of us, no matter what people try and claim. The outside of someone’s life that is portrayed on social media is very rarely an accurate portrayal of what’s really going on in the inside. Every human life is full of trials and tribulations that no one is immune to and we’re all here to work our way through those challenges and come out as stronger, brighter, more resilient and kinder versions of ourselves. If we do not experience suffering, then how can we be empathetic to the world around us and create a better and more joyful experience for ourselves and others?

And when life feels especially tricky then there’s something even more transformative going on, even though it feels far from easy at the time. When we’re right up against it, with our back against the wall, we have to dive deep to access the parts of ourselves that we didn’t know existed.

It might be that we find ourselves facing illness, financial scarcity, loss or drastic change, and when this happens, to get ourselves through the darkness and out to the other side, we have to pull on those reserves of faith, courage and strength.

I call these moments in life ‘initiations’ and these are the processes that we go through to transform us into a more beautiful, powerful and embodied version of who we truly are. Sometimes though, we mistakenly think that when things go wrong in our lives, we have somehow failed, lost the game or done something wrong, but nothing could be further from the truth.

Every single thing that happens to us is an opportunity for a deepening of our self-awareness, a maturity of our soul and a move towards greater compassion for ourselves and others.

The greatest challenge, however, when we’re going through these initiations that test our courage and strength, is to stay aligned in truth. The truth is that nothing lasts forever, there is always a light at the end of the dark tunnel and if you lean into the experience there is a wealth of wonder and learning that awaits you on the other side.

I know how easy it is for our mind to get stuck in a victim mode of ‘why me?’ because I’ve been stuck in this way of thinking far too often, but this is exactly what we have to work through when we’re faced with difficult circumstances.

As soon as the tiniest thing goes wrong, our mind can quickly spiral into the negative, causing us to land in a place of fear. When this happens, we lose all our perspective and our thinking becomes fixed, narrow and limited. Instead of expanding into the challenge that life has presented to us, we shrink into the terror of the unknown and the panic of losing control.

This is so normal, and exactly what I do! But I’m slowly learning other ways of getting through these tough times. Everyone has different ways of doing this; meditation, movement and exercise, journalling, therapy, music, leaning on friends, healing, being in nature, spending time with family, animals, creative practices or anything else that just feels good.

I know how easy it is to listen to the mind and try to numb the feelings with unhealthy things too, yet if we just pause, take a moment and reconsider, it might be the best thing we can do for ourselves to remember that nothing lasts forever, there is always a light at the end of the dark tunnel and if you lean into the experience there is a wealth of learning that awaits you on the other side. Stay strong, you’ll get through it.

About Antonya: I offer Soul Contract Readings and Divine Healing sessions to alchemise your deep subconscious beliefs and realign you to your soul's mission, alongside powerful guidance programmes to help you connect to your purpose to bring deeper meaning and joy to your life. Find out more at antonyabeamish.com