Parenting: Chris Howard’s life lessons from the past year of fatherhood

As Cambridge adventurer Chris Howard approaches the one-year milestone of penning A Boy Called Dad, he looks back on lessons learnt whilst parenting his three awesome ‘cubs’

It’s my anniversary of writing this column and what better way to mark it than a reflection on the year observing my cubs grow into fine young humans? It’s a lot though. I mean, why don’t they tell you about the hormones at birth? I then wonder what it would be like to be a girl, like the opposite of the Beyoncé song, ‘If I were a boy’. *Honestly, my Beyoncé impersonation is dreadful*

As a boy I’ve learnt to sit in the perspective of my daughters and attempt to see the world from their view. I think we have to try this so we can understand all the mad goings-on in their heads and our own - and if Freud is correct, then it’s all my fault anyway, right?

As a Dad I’ve learnt the balance of probability in any family decision is ultimately swayed in favour of the cubs. This is truly because their happiness is paramount and I think that’s a dad’s obligation and mantra to live by.

As a man I’ve learnt that no matter the circumstances in my own daily dismay I have a choice about who to present myself as to the cubs and my wife. I can be the calm stoic voice of reason and compassionate shoulder just as well as I can be the king of the kitchen disco danceathon every Friday! *Note: dancing equally as bad as Beyoncé impersonation, if not worse*

I have learnt that no outfit combination is wrong and ‘BRAT’ in some way means good (we can thank Charlie XCX for that apparently). Quite honestly, I don’t know who or what that is but I now know that the cubs are Swifties, and much to my sadness, that’s not a group of young people excited by ornithology.

I have this year also learned that ice cream is currency and practically anything can be negotiated with it as payment. World leaders could learn a thing or two with a scoop from my gelato philosophy of economics. ‘Peace, there can be no peace. . .but we have cones or cups and as many scoops as you like of bubblegum, salted pistachio sorbet.’ All world conflicts solved; I thank you!

I thought I’d focus on 10 things I’d learnt this year but in truth there’s far more and I cannot list the lessons here but the important ones for me are to keep listening and keep learning. Sometimes I have to be the metaphorical arm around the cubs guiding the way and other times I have to physically drag them into a realisation, but I’ve learnt that softly is the key. Be gentle, be kind and just be Daddy.

All in all, the more I’ve learnt, the more I’ve realised how much I don’t know. Perhaps that is another parental responsibility that is just intrinsic to the job; we must all be on the learning curve constantly so that we grow too with our cubs and can flex and bend with them like leaves in the wind. They are, after all, majestic transient rays of light that fill up our days. Perhaps that’s the most important lesson I have learnt; to appreciate the cubs in every moment even if they’re flicking dirty washing-up water at me and singing ‘you need to calm down’ in unison whilst gymnasticising around the dining table strumming a cuddly crocodile like a guitar and leaving a trail of socks and pants-based destruction across every level of our home.

So, to Thing One, Thing Two and Youngest Thing, on this most auspicious day of our column anniversary I say to you, Thank you. You all amaze me every day and you are all so loved x

Read more about Chris’s adventures at thecoastwalker.com