Opinion: Navigating forward when you find yourself at a life crossroads

When we reach a crossroads in life, it can be difficult to know which way to turn. Cambridge-based holistic therapist Antonya Catahlinah Beamish encourages us to have the courage to take the next step

Like all of us, I’ve been at many crossroads in my life; from choosing whether to stay or go in relationships to making decisions on jobs. When we reach this decisive moment, not knowing which path to take, we often come up against indecision (as to what to choose) and fear (of making that decision and the change that might come with it).

So, here’s my advice for when you’re at a crossroads, having to make a choice, or several choices, whether they’re big or small.

Let go of making the wrong choice

If you’re an overthinker or find it hard to trust in your decision-making ability, you can loop round and round in the tiring energy of indecision, trying to understand all the possible eventualities and outcomes, and not being able to commit to a choice. You can also worry about making the right or wrong decision.

When we label decisions right or wrong, we automatically attach judgement and fear to making that decision. If we make the perceived wrong one, we internally shame and punish ourselves and get stuck into the ‘I should have’ or ‘I shouldn’t have’ energy which can really impact our confidence and self-trust.

Instead of attaching labels to our decisions, calling them good or bad, they can just be decision A and decision B. Neither one is better than the other and both carry gifts and lessons that we can learn from. I learnt this freeing concept from a well-known book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, which I highly recommend.

There isn’t a perfect choice, it doesn’t exist. Whatever path you choose to take will carry with it many wonderful experiences. Some will help you gain deeper wisdom and understanding of yourself and this life, and some will challenge you.

Let go of expectations

We can also hold great expectations about what we think we should be doing. Yet, it’s these expectations that can feel like such a heavy burden over time.

I understand we all want to do the best we possibly can to become the greatest versions of ourselves, but, sometimes our need for perfection and high expectations are what slows us down because they create no room for mistakes.

Most of us grew up in a society that marked our worth through exams, interviews and competitions but as adults there is no-one marking, testing or judging us anymore, but ourselves.

So, where can you be a little more compassionate with yourself as you stand at the crossroads of a decision? Can you see what expectations have been weighing you down, and who put them there, so you can gently place them down and give your weary shoulders a rest?

You can lean into trust and joy

While we know that change can be scary, it can also be really exciting.

The problem is, when we’re stuck in fear and paralysed by indecision, the joy and excitement of starting something new can completely pass us by.

One of the lovely things I’ve come to realise about this life is that fear is always a doorway of invitation that holds great rewards, if we have the courage to pass through it.

If we feel unable to walk through then we get stuck in the waiting room called ‘fear of the unknown’; pacing the room with worry, getting tangled up in the ‘what ifs’ and letting our imaginations run wildly out of control.

When we struggle to trust that we’ll be safely caught on the other side of the door, it is an invitation for us to explore the mistrust that we hold in our hearts. Who has let us down in the past and how can we begin to move past that?

When we acknowledge the stress and trauma we have held onto, we can start gently healing it and letting go of the past so we can move into our future.

Go through the door and see what’s on the other side, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Find out more about Antonya, who offers soul contract readings, divine healing sessions and guidance programmes at antonyabeamish.com