Column: How do you eat yours? A Boy Called Dad’s Chris Howard talks pancakes

To mark Pancake Day the Howard family are getting into the spirit with some truly bizarre toppings! Cue the sugar hit. . .

They say that Pancake Day is a fun, creative and confidence-building activity with children that can be shared as a family with laughter and light-hearted fluffiness. However, I remind you of the old adage ‘never work with animals or children!’

No sooner than I’ve whisked the creamy yellow bubble mix, then Thing One, Two and Youngest Thing are clawing at the cupboards for all things sweet and savoury to cram into their golden crepe parcels. It’s made me wonder what the nation’s favourite way to do it is and what toppings we all like most? So, just how do you eat yours? Well, here is a taste of what we do.

It’s not a day we wait for in our house; in fact, religious connotations or not, we are regularly caught flipping the flat flimsy discs from frying pan to plate. It’s the cubs’ favourite breakfast and comes with such an array of accompaniments it’s often hard to believe when I see the spread on the table around the mountainous pile of warm pancakes ready to devour. There’s the classic lemon and sugar, which they fight over for the sour slices (weird but yes, do you really expect anything less from them by now?!). There are jams (raspberry, strawberry, blackcurrant), marmalade, Marmite and a jar of white fluff that’s been in the back of the cupboard since before they were born and is still perfectly fine despite the toast crumbs and chilli flakes that have accidentally found their way inside.

“How many are there each, Daddy?” excited Youngest Thing enquires, already hoping that I’ll say it’s a bottomless plate. “Can I have another one, please? I’m only on my third,” Thing One interjects. “There were two each,” I say, followed by “okay, I’ll do some more”. Now Thing Two is in a savoury mood and gently placing grated cheese and some ham on a perfectly round one before dolloping on peanut butter and rolling it up. In fairness, I too like a cheese one followed by a fresh strawberry filling or, if I’m lucky enough that there’s any left, then a golden syrup pancake is delightful. However, just like everything else good in our house, the golden syrup is rarely in my reach as it’s generally been sucked from the bottle on the way home by whichever cub has snaffled it away without us noticing.

I think the cubs would have pancakes everyday if we let them. As Youngest Thing often reminds me, “I have a different stomach for that Daddy”. Banana and peanut butter, raspberry and coconut shaving, bacon and vanilla ice cream, squirty cream and chocolate sauce; it’s all up for grabs and all inclusive. There’s no shame or judgement when it comes to pancakes; it’s whatever you want and that’s what’s so fun about it.

When our pancake party is in full swing, it’s as if I’m watching frenzied piranha people do the Tasmanian devil dance on the table in a cloud of powdered sugar as berry juice squirts the walls and sticky syrup oozes from the surrounding furniture like lava at Pompeii. If I dare intervene, it will end with lemon juice in the eye and a fork-stabbed hand whilst all the while the three little cubs are shrove tiding the pancakes down their greedy little gobs! Of course, I look forward to the clean down more than anything, that part where all the sugar in their systems turns that frenzy into a helpful wave of speed cleaning and helpful putting away. Ah, but no, that’s a different dream; today it’s my turn to clean away. At least until we do it all over again tomorrow. . .

Read more about Chris’s adventures at thecoastwalker.com